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Based on personal and Internet survery, I’ve come to believe many if not most people could dramatically improve their lives by implementing one simple tip (depending on their gender).

For The Ladies: Chill The F$%& Out

Seriously, it’s just that simple.

Chill out if the house doesn’t have everything in its place exactly the way you want it.

Chill out if you think your man is too “comfortable” in your relationship and your hamster is tempting you to be difficult just so you can watch him jump.

Chill out if somebody isn’t driving the route you would have taken to get somewhere.

Chill out when your man gets home and you feel the urge to unload everything that went wrong that day on him.

Chill out if your kids aren’t making straight A’s, playing the trombone and captaining sports teams at the same time.

Chill out when an attractive guy is paying you heed – enjoy his company and let it develop, don’t mentally plan your wedding or start frantically searching for dealbreakers.

Chill out when you worry you’re coming out on the wrong side of the (existentially pointless) intrasexual competition ledger.

Chill out when you discuss splitting the check on a date – not everything is a power play with lifelong symbolic implications.

Chill out about consumer society telling you your wardrobe isn’t cool enough, your husband is too boring, your kids are falling behind and you are “losing yourself.”

BB just ran a personal experiment where she completely stopped voicing her inner nagologue. (I advised her to continue the experiment, possibly forever.)

Constant verbalization of a woman’s unhappiness with minor details of life and with her husband’s various traits is one of the most bitter complaints around the Manosphere about relationships, marriage and ex-wives. Admittedly that’s a biased sample, but the Female Apprehension Cascade is an auto-feedback process experienced by almost every man on this earth. Spend less time administrating domestic life to the detail and more time on the couch getting a footrub from your man followed by a good roll in the hay.

A good sense of balance is a critical differentiator in the relationship market. You don’t even know how insanely jealous men are of husbands whose wives are easy-going and pleasant at home. You’ll find better men around you because you’re more comfortable to be around.

For The Men: Don’t Jump When A Woman Says So

Guys who aren’t taught to know better get into a spin cycle where they are convinced they have to say yes to every request from a female, because if they don’t women won’t like them or worse yet get upset and shame their manhood. That this is the opposite of the truth is very logical, but only if you understand what she’s really asking for. A lot of requests you’ll get from women are fitness tests, or “shit tests” – requests in which the winning move is to skillfully decline (emphasis on skillfully). The classic example is her asking you to buy her a drink. She doesn’t really want the drink, she wants to see your reaction when she asks for the drink. If you say yes, or you say no in a petulant ungraceful manner, you lose key social points.

Roissy and his adherents posit that much fitness testing is subconscious and amoral and that a guy should see a volley of tests as a sign he’s not exhibiting enough leadership and frame. Notice how the test is hedged such that if you fail, she still gets something of value – the downfall of countless men who gave their wives everything they asked for and were rewarded with calumny. If you simply deploy provider game for every request you are unilaterally disarming yourself. A key part of inner game to internalize that the most impressive resource you can give her is you socially-dominant personality, the one that pushes her buttons and makes her smile.

For a woman you are not dating, you shouldn’t do anything you wouldn’t do for a male friend, commensurate with the degree of friendship. I’ll give a casual friend a ride to the airport, but I’ll loan money only to my closest pals. Drop the pretense and reference the fitness test concept in the above paragraph – going the extra mile for a female friend is not going to get you any closer to getting into her pants.

For a woman you are dating, you should both be serving each others’ needs, but neither is the other’s servant. If she knows your default behavior is to scramble to meet any need she presents, you’ll quickly become a sap. When you do fill her requests, always be closing. Be the master of your domain, and – it’s funny how the fitness test strategy works this way – the tests will abate when you pass a few, as if her hindbrain is satisfied that you can stand up to her for the time being. (She may still try to rub up against your manhood for pleasure, but you should take that as a compliment.)

Among neither friends nor lovers, there are some women who will bat their eyelashes at a stranger just to see if she can leverage her sex appeal to offload her own duties onto someone else. I recently had a woman coyly ask me to carry a blanket across a street for her. Simply say you can’t help. Laugh in her face if she persists. If you have a deeply-ingrained pedestalization habit and have difficulty saying no, visualize that she has a penis and see if that makes things easier for you.

Use common sense. Holding a door open for someone whose hands are full is not an unreasonable concession. Carrying a heavy box for an able-bodied girl who would just rather have her hands empty is another matter entirely. You shouldn’t have to ask me what to do if a woman asks you to hold her purse.

Don’t let people tell you you should be an on-call valet for women because “that’s what Real Men do.” Doing things for people who haven’t earned it isn’t chivalry, it’s chumpitude – and you’re being played for the mark.

As to whether women will like you with this newfound frame: a man who has a sense of self-respect such that his time is not free for appropriation by others is vastly more attractive when he does do a good deed than a guy who uses favors to supplicate and beg for approval. Clear the takers out of your life and you’ll find yourself in the company of women who appreciate you.